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Monday, July 11, 2016

How to Cheat at Pokemon Go and Become a Pokemaster from Your Room!

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During my latest Pokemon Go expedition, I recently discovered a flaw in the game and iOS that would allow me to travel to any location in the world and collect Pokemon with ease, all without leaving the comfort of my room. Below is how I was able to accomplish this:

1. Download Xcode 7.
2. Create sample iOS project or choose existing one.
3. Connect iPhone to computer and run application on phone.
4. Click location arrow at top of bottom bar in Xcode.






5. Select city of your choice or add your own GPX file.


6. Exit application.
7. Launch Pokemon and catch them all!

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266 comments:

  1. Keep me in your room! :) You can lock me in the closet!

    I never dreamed I'd see the day when I know what a var. ferox is. Man, if I have to listen to one more person say variegata (and actually know what they were talking about). The other day, I saw a leafless bird of paradise and recognized it as giant green onion that people have not yet cut and eaten and are leaving to grow big.

    I feel so smart now! So happy.

    I can't tell you how happy I am. And then, I recognized a hybrid because I knew what both species looked like. I know! All by myself, without using that app (which is terrible anyways).

    Anyways, I will live in your closet. And everything will be good. And everyone except anyone who is not us will live happily ever after.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You know, now that I think about it. My new job is not nearly as smart as I thought it was. Its pretty hard remembering computers and stuff. I feel as though stuff I do requires extreme intelligence and skill and its hard to remember that most people think computers is for smart people.

    I guess what I'm saying is, most people would say your old job is better. And I would forget that I ever planned for anything else. I mean, like I said, its difficult and you have to remember things. I have my hands full with all the things I have to learn. I don't feel that I even remember how to computer.

    This is strange is what I'm trying to say. I can't emphasize how much I feel hatred right now for our friends. I can't begin to describe, now that I've remembered their existence, how much I completely despise and hate them. All I can think about is this hate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know, we were at the farmers market. Because someone took me there. They refuse to buy food and only eat at the CSA. You want to know what I saw. There was a guy selling, okay, I feel like I'm bragging now, but yes, it was (grafted cactus) moon cactus. Now, I don't anything about grafting, but I do now, not that I've ever tried it. But if you go on Youtube, you can find video showing how to graft moon cactus. So, technically you know how to graft moon cactus. Even if you have no experience.

    Anyways, long story short, the cactus was super expensive, not that I knew the price of cactus at the time. I did notice that the plants seemed wishy-washy, if you know what I mean. I chalked that up to the cloudy days recently, no sun. So I figure he can't help it that his plants are doing terrible. However, now it has been pointed out to me that he could not possibly have grown that himself. I suppose so, but I guess if that is the case. Then reselling cactus for $15 each or $20 each or whatever is a ripoff, considering he didn't grow it himself.

    Also, want to know how moon cactus works? Sorry, I find this interesting. Its a cactus that can't survive because no chlorophyll so you put it on another one.

    Now, I'm not sure why anyone would buy a cactus in the first place. I'm telling you, who keeps a bunch of cactus in their backyard? It's a falling hazard, for crying out loud. How are you supposed to walk around if its evening?

    I mean have you seen those super spiky ones? People are crazy. I'm telling you, who wants that in their yard?

    Also, the not as spiky ones are deceptive. I was holding some without obvious spines and it stabbed my face. So cactus are more dangerous than you think. I don't understand everyone's attitudes about this, the whole, let me just put on my gloves and go handle that thing with a million spikes hanging out of it. I'm telling you, that ones spiky. I don't understand why anyone would say, that one's soft and fuzzy. It most certainly is not. It's definitely one of the spikier ones. Except I should probably go check it to see if it actually is fuzzy. It looks pretty spikey.

    I only liked the fuzzy ones. Now I don't really like any of them. Do you have any idea how long it takes to grow rocks? I didn't realize that it's a trick when people say they grew it themselves. And some cactus takes years of course. Anyways, that's why I think rocks are a pain. Because first of all, most of them are ugly. Except that new one I've never seen in person that probably isn't even a rock. It looks not quite rocklike. And those weird seeds people have for rocks you know? Of plants you've never seen and look highly unnatural. Also, it takes forever to grow apparently from seeds. And you can only grow from seed. Because the actual thing takes forever to grow as well. Its exactly the same as it looks ages ago. Except it flowered and didn't catch the seeds because you know, I'm not insane.

    Anyways, back to those awful cactus that I'm talking about. Those ones that have the hard spikes. Which are differentiated from the other ones, with 1. really fine spikes, so you might mistake it for something fuzzy but its spiky not fuzzy 2. other types of spikes. So to be clear I'm talking about the round ones. I just don't understand why someone would have at least 10 of those in their backyard. I don't think you understand. They don't even clump. So you would literally have at least 10 pots with the same cactus which is ten times the falling hazard. Oh my god. She's insane.

    That's the funniest thing I've ever seen. I can't.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mean, no wonder she wants to get rid them after so many years. You'd think she'd have gotten rid of them earlier.

      Crazy cactus man.

      Stop its too funny.

      "That's what will happen to you if you purchase one of those 100 cactus seed packets"

      I think she's doing it on purpose.

      Maybe she actually didn't know about the cactus thing. I didn't.

      I think its just weird if you have more than 2 of the same thing. You can justify 2 for various reasons. Also, I just saw someone with 20 rocks. Why on earth does anyone get 20 rocks, even if it is at a discounted rate.

      4 rocks should be enough for anyone. You might be able to justify 10 if they're different types.

      Also, people who buy the set of 128 have no idea what they're doing. Because apparently some of those are definitely going to die because you don't know how to take care of the different ones all at once. That's not good.

      Although technically you would instantly then have the whole collection for a fixed price. But you're probably not gonna figure out how to water in time to keep all of them alive.

      Unless you already knew, I suppose that could work.

      I don't understand the point of selling something that's definitely going to die.

      The exception is if you lost your old ones and you want to instantly replace all of them.

      Actually I was under the impression that you could use automatic sprinkler systems for these. But I guess that's probably the impression they give you to convince you to get 128 at once.

      Actually now I wonder... what if someone gets mad about ... that one's no good. I mean ... its spray only.

      I mean it probably won't ... That's actually the only bad one, the rest are okay. Now it's really bothering me. Now that I think about it, that one just bothers me.

      It's not actually a big deal, because if they care that much, they can fix it themselves.

      Delete
    2. Also, I don't understand what the fuss is. I mean, okay I just got it. Now that I think about it. You know how the thing is in the middle? Well, it needs to be on the sides, to get air. That's the problem, unless its porous. I was like, well there is one, and its big enough, why do it need ones on the sides. Wait, I think I've seen some with ones that directly contact the floor, but it still has multiple. But how is one different from like more than one.

      Wait, what's wrong with air from the top? I'm so confused. Actually, I feel like it just doesn't matter for anything of that size, because you're going to have to put it somewhere else eventually. That's my opinion. You would probably have to do something with bigger stuff. Of course, you have to take into account factors like weather. So if weather is bad, then its just super slow and it might clump up.

      But I feel like that would never happen here, because it can never grow that slow. The exception being a few types. Okay, but I've seen ones with like four. Actually, now that I think about it, they usually have that special design. Well I should point out that I'm using cups because I'm lazy. And there's like three and it directly contacts the floor. But the cups aren't permanent anyways.

      I still think it doesn't matter because you're definitely going to have to find a new one really soon. This is really hard. I'm very certain.

      I'm so confused right now. This is really difficult. There's no way you're going have it long enough to matter. Under normal circumstances, you know.

      Anyways, that's what's still going on. How do you even tell if something is porous just by looking at it anyways. I mean I've got some and I don't know what it is. Supposedly its you know.

      Also, I'm not allowed to build a bonfire in the yard because the neighbors will think we're insane but I just need to fire some pottery. Also, that sounds weird.

      I'm so confused right now. But how will the pottery get fired? Also, we might burn down the house. How is it going to be porous.

      So can I come over to your place and fire some pottery? Okay, now that I think about, that's a really weird thing to say. Also, just so you know, I have no idea how this works. I wonder if the potters will make fun of me. I never said I was a pottery expert. I just need some porous stuff.

      Okay, that's about it.

      Delete
  4. Also, I just went back and looked at that. And I'm like you know if I were a normal person the $10 means nothing.

    But now that I've become a weirdo that's actually really high profit.

    Speaking of which did you read that thing in you know what Times that I told you about? I don't get that. How does it even matter. I can't, its like they're trying to be funny to outsiders reading it. I don't see why it even matters so much. And why would anyone even do that because you know then for obvious reasons.

    I'm so confused. Also, no point in acting like a saint, everyone knows that not $14

    ReplyDelete
  5. Also help I'm worried. I feel dumb. Is that one not that thing? No, why.


    This is impossible. The worst. I'm really upset.


    What was I going to say again?

    Oh yeah, that. I'm still upset.

    No I don't remember.


    Oh yeah, and then he yelled at me. I don't understand. Now that I think about it. My new friend that I met on the internet. Yeah that just sounds creepy.


    Sigh...

    This is really hard. No need to state the obvious. I'm getting really bad at this. Okay now I feel it. Am I oversaying it? Oh my god, this is never going to work.


    I mean its pretty obvious. Why do I even bother? I'm so confused. So the reason I'm confused is because people won't see the obvious. Therefore, I'm really bad at this. Actually now that I think about it, it's not obvious. Okay, I see what you mean.

    Sigh, I'm extremely upset. It's obvious. So just stop it already. Waste of my time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wait is it not supposed to look like that?


    Help

    ReplyDelete
  7. Are those people information mining?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wait stop, this is not my concern. That's just creepy anyways.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh my god help. This is going terribly

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't think you understand, I just figured out what variegata means

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is never going work. This is the most difficult thing in the world

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm so confused. Whose idea was this anyways. Did you figure this out before I did?

    ReplyDelete
  13. How did this miraculous series of coincidences happen. I'm still trying to figure if they know each other.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Are we actually friends? I mean its just way too coincidental

    ReplyDelete
  15. What? I'm so confused now. But that means.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I can't stop laughing. I don't know whats going on.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Stop this is too funny. You get it now

    ReplyDelete
  18. Different. Okay I have to go. Serious now

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wait is that all they're mad about? Well just get a spray tan and dye your hair black and no one will ever know. You'll also be more attractive that way.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Also, fuck you for being mad at me. You can't be mad at me, what did I ever do to you. Why don't you go be mad at the real culprits.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Also, Google is still pretending I was working for the NSA. I feel bad for letting them down. I really do prefer what I do now. This is so much better.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Also, make sure your parents get the 3 gallon coffee tree. And make sure it says PS Do not eat (mites) .

    Everyone hates me!!!! Mostly because I'm smarter than all of them. I'm still annoyed about that. What a ripoff.

    ReplyDelete
  23. God damn it. I hate all of them

    ReplyDelete
  24. What if this never works? I mean they're really just upset that I'm smarter than all of them.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm telling you, there's no such thing as racism. They're just jealous

    ReplyDelete
  26. And that's how I end up living in your closet.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You mean to tell me that random dude I just met is a thousand times nicer than you because he's not white? I thought it was just a person to person thing

    Well I so glad to hear you're being nice to some women out there. Great job. I'll just go back in your closet won't I.

    ReplyDelete
  28. "That's no way to treat women"

    "No I'm used to it, that's just the way he is"

    ReplyDelete
  29. I wonder where he got the Microsoft shirt from. I haven't asked. Do you think he'll think I'm weird?

    ReplyDelete
  30. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL, YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS.

    IT WAS NOT HACKED. YOU ARE A DUMMY. THE TECHNOLOGY USED WAS PASSWORD.

    Yes your password is known.

    I'M STILL MAD ABOUT THAT TREE

    ReplyDelete
  31. THEY PROBABLY GOOGLED ME. AND DECIDED TO FREAKING RIPOFF

    ReplyDelete
  32. ITS A SEEDLING. ITS 5 INCHES TALL

    ReplyDelete
  33. IM VERY ANGRY ABOUT THIS. ALSO, REALLY DONT EAT IT

    ReplyDelete
  34. AT SOME POINT ITS BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS. I'M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW

    ReplyDelete
  35. this is where you're like

    THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR ORDERING THINGS ONLINE

    ReplyDelete
  36. WELL GUESS WHAT


    THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR GOING TO COLLEGE

    ReplyDelete
  37. EXACTLY


    I'M REALLY ANGRY RIGHT NOW

    ReplyDelete
  38. I WILL JUST FIND A FARM FOR SALE AND GROW ORNAMENTALS

    ReplyDelete
  39. actually that's mostly my definition of help

    ReplyDelete
  40. i'll probably just watch you working and offer my helpful advice

    ReplyDelete
  41. is it still cheating if i do ur homework?

    ok if you let me live in your closet i will do half of your hw

    ReplyDelete
  42. you should do the other half so you can do quizzes

    ReplyDelete
  43. and i will find a way to get you food

    ReplyDelete
  44. mostly because those ppl don't deserve me vacuuming for them


    also u will probably die of asbestos poisoning

    ReplyDelete
  45. also, i will write your app for u, but dont tell whats his face

    ReplyDelete
  46. he said he was going to give me a job, and then didnt

    ReplyDelete
  47. anything else u need done?

    i'm telling u, this is why u should keep me in ur closet

    ReplyDelete
  48. also, i cant think of anything else

    ReplyDelete
  49. rly

    i can go on and on about the advantages of keeping me in your closet

    ReplyDelete
  50. including as mentioned previously, your life instantly easier

    ReplyDelete
  51. i only cost whatever it takes to feed me

    ReplyDelete
  52. this is great. and i can just follow u around all day when i get bored and sleep during class cuz i dont like learning

    ReplyDelete
  53. thats actually my plan for next year

    ReplyDelete
  54. i'm telling u, ur life is gonna be easier

    ReplyDelete
  55. actually im having second thoughts, also someone says they want u to die. very impolite

    ReplyDelete
  56. no jk i changed my mind, only cuz of the presence of other options

    ReplyDelete
  57. i dunno. this would not b a problem if u had went to the door at apple. are they bullying u? are you not allowed to have visitors?

    ReplyDelete
  58. arggghhhh. this is difficult.

    u kno what i mean right?

    ReplyDelete
  59. actually can u please just give me your password so i can start doing ur hw now? I wanna get a headstart on this to save u time later

    ReplyDelete
  60. its actually rly bothering me how much time u spend writing those darn apps. i hav plenty of free time u kno. I can take care of it for u

    ReplyDelete
  61. cant u send me your folders? just put it on a flash drive.

    ReplyDelete
  62. rly. im rly bored so i can do ur work for u

    ReplyDelete
  63. actually i just remembered i cant. i should probably go do other stuff

    ReplyDelete
  64. u should probably handle all the computer stuff

    ReplyDelete
  65. also dont make jokes about working for samsung. its not funny. my roommate is probably a spy from china. i'm extremely certain because when i told her to go to the cia booth she said she was worried that she would be killed when she returned to china which means she would be a double agent

    ReplyDelete
  66. no i shouldnt be going near computers i'll just do ur laundry

    ReplyDelete
  67. actually i could probably finish that in 30 minutes

    ReplyDelete
  68. yea, i dont kno. are u sure i cant follow u around?

    ReplyDelete
  69. wow its rly hard thinking of things to do

    i can also make pots in your room. using the awful gas stove

    ReplyDelete
  70. that must be hard to obtain. where do u think we can get one

    ReplyDelete
  71. what do u think?

    theres only so much laundry

    ReplyDelete
  72. anything u need done? that doesnt involve a computer

    ReplyDelete
  73. i dont kno, i usually study all the time when im not making pots

    ReplyDelete
  74. u kno if u keep those things outside do u hav any idea how much electricity u save

    ReplyDelete
  75. to be honest, its actually not that difficult. it requires literally no thinking

    ReplyDelete
  76. o no should i start doin hw. i'm worried now. whenever someone mentions that i kno i should b doing hw

    ReplyDelete
  77. i bet i can cut down ur total study time by at least 20 hours a week. which is 20 more hours of free time

    ReplyDelete
  78. and if i cant im not getting paid anyways

    ReplyDelete
  79. sorry i like to talk about all the ways in which i can help u. why am i still persuading? this is no contest

    ReplyDelete
  80. Also, to make the act more convincing. Pretend you don't speak English and use a French accent when speaking. Apparently everyone in this one tiny village all speaks English with a French accent because they all had the same English teacher who is still teaching English with a French accent or taught the current English teacher who speaks English with a French accent. To be clear, they all speak English with a French accent.

    I get confused whenever they start talking, its so weird.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Also, a lot of Americans speak convincing languages, fairly well. When you meet someone who actually does know it, they will probably realize you are saying random stuff and don't actually know it. I'm serious.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Sorry if you've already figured it out, but let me help you out. The reasoning being applied

    is since its a lot mor difficult for u to get ot where u r from where u came from ur probably better than everyone else who got there easily. so technically it doent seem too unusual yet it is for u. also, since ur life sucks already, no one takes out loans, theyre ripping u off like crazy. if u borrow from me i'll give u zero interest. also, if u dont pay me back i will not be pleased

    ReplyDelete
  83. ur actually a mor expensiv student so everyones trying to get u

    ReplyDelete
  84. U DUMBO, ITS NOT ALRITE. YOU THINK THATS ALL THEY WANT? THEY WANT MORE. ALSO EVEN IF THEY DONT WANT MORE. THEY'VE ALREADY WON. IT IS NOT ALRITE

    ReplyDelete
  85. I DONT THINK U UNDERSTAND. THOSE THINGS R IMPOSSIBLY EASY TO GROW. THEY GROW AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. I WASTED A FORTUNE ON SOMETHING THATS BEEN AROUND FOR A DAY.

    ReplyDelete
  86. YOU CAN GET A FRUITING LYCHEE FOR CHEAPER AND THOSE TAKE 15-25 YEARS

    ReplyDelete
  87. THIS IS UPSETTING. ALSO DO U EVEN KNOW WHAT A LYCHEE IS?

    ReplyDelete
  88. WOW ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO TALK TO YOU ISNT IT

    ReplyDelete
  89. DO U HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY BANANA PEELS I'VE WASTED? DO I LOOK LIKE I'M MADE OF BANANA PEELS? DO U HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY BANANAS IV HAD TO EAT?

    ReplyDelete
  90. also thats cuz all we hav is orchid fertilizer and we cant get anything else

    ReplyDelete
  91. so i hav to make my own with varying degrees of success

    ReplyDelete
  92. i figured it was already loaded with fertilizer anyways and i was preparing for next year

    ReplyDelete
  93. i'v probably spent half of my time misting it every 20 minutes. thats actually what the tropical room at phipps looks like so i figured it was good

    ReplyDelete
  94. also, figs are still illegal (invasive species) so dont tell ur neighbors about ur fig. still mad about that

    ReplyDelete
  95. what kind of psychopath kills peoples trees?

    ReplyDelete
  96. its the invasive species police

    ReplyDelete
  97. still mad about that. u cant tell ppl what not to plant

    ReplyDelete
  98. IN 100 YEARS WE'LL BE SURROUND BY FIG TREES. SOUNDS SO INVASIVE

    ReplyDelete
  99. FEEL HARRASSED. WAS NOT INTERESTED IN AN INVASIVE TREE.

    ReplyDelete
  100. to be clear, what exactly happens if ppl find out about the fig tree? that part is unclear? do they just kill it? kill u?

    ReplyDelete
  101. also we dont hav a fig tree so dont ask

    ReplyDelete
  102. SO MAD ABOUT THAT. DIE STUPID PERSON

    ReplyDelete
  103. THAT'S A FUCKING SMALL FORTUNE

    $40000 CAN FEED A FAMILY OF 5 FOR 1234 YEARS

    ReplyDelete
  104. im not a cheapskate i just hate spending any kind of money at all

    ReplyDelete
  105. no rly i cant afford to keep replacing the fig tree everytime someone kills it

    ReplyDelete
  106. rly i hav to get my money back from them somehow and i figure ur a good way to do it

    ReplyDelete
  107. DO U HAV ANY IDEA HOW EXPENSIVE TREES ARE?

    ReplyDelete
  108. also google ads now show me wood glue. help

    ReplyDelete
  109. such a waste of time. i rly am upset. the money is not rly important EXCEPT IT IS

    ReplyDelete
  110. WHO CARES THOSE PPL ARE TAKING MONEY OFF OF U

    ReplyDelete
  111. U R PROBABLY PERSONALLY FUNDING THAT CHICKEN DUMMIES PRIVATE VACATION TO HAWAII IN THE MIDDLE OF FINALS WEEK

    ReplyDelete
  112. also, r u aware that most wood glues r not waterproof? also, the purpose of wood glue is gluing wood. im probably misapplying it

    ReplyDelete
  113. its actually probably offensive

    ReplyDelete
  114. im telling u. this is a good idea. u can always dye it back

    ReplyDelete
  115. o great turns out u can use a combo of black tea and white unscented lotion. thats pretty cheap and easy to maintain indefinitely

    ReplyDelete
  116. no just kidding, well i mean come on, anyone under the age of 20 cant b expected to do anything

    ReplyDelete
  117. no seriously, it looks like u hav a disease. who the heck is that pale

    ReplyDelete
  118. whats the point? nothing to b done except b angry

    ReplyDelete
  119. there are at least a large number of americans that know languages

    ReplyDelete
  120. o kno, we're mad at everyone else

    ReplyDelete
  121. y dont u tell everyone else their spoiled?

    ReplyDelete
  122. its ok i just saw a documentary.

    college students in china these days never clean their rooms, trash everywhere, never leave their rooms order food

    however, a 5 year old boy has a perfectly clean and organized room. in fact, he sweeps it everyday. he also cooks meals for his entire family. he also washes dishes. he also mops floors. also, because there are not enough floors in his house for him to mop, he mops the floors of the hallway for the entire building. his parents feel that this is a good way to build character. what an amazing child

    ReplyDelete
  123. the question is

    why r these college students not as good as a 5 year old boy

    ReplyDelete
  124. are u still mad about twinkies? who cares

    ReplyDelete
  125. no if someone actually did something i would actually b upset and if u cant tell the difference between someone trying to b funny then u probably deserve whatever happens to u

    ReplyDelete
  126. i mean lets see, someone rips u off on a tree? i should b angrier

    ReplyDelete
  127. americans hav gotten angrier over less

    ReplyDelete
  128. they still feel threatened dont they?

    ReplyDelete
  129. i dont see y i bother. we all kno everyone is the bad guy

    ReplyDelete
  130. want to run into the forest and get eaten by wolves? thats a sure way to die

    ReplyDelete
  131. i think u see where this is going. im surprised ur still alive and so am i

    ReplyDelete
  132. LOOK IM TELLING YOU. THIS IS 100 CERTAIN. THEY GOOGLED ME. ALRITE?

    FOR SURE.

    ALSO THE CHICKEN MAN IS DEFINITELY THE BAD GUY. I DIDNT REALIZE IN TIME.

    ReplyDelete
  133. HE SAID U WERE SMART AND WE ALL KNO U HAV THE INTELLIGENCE OF A CHALLENGED SLOTH

    ReplyDelete
  134. HEY LOOK THERES NOTHING OBVIOUSLY WRONG WITH ANY OF THEM. THEY'RE WASTING UR TIME. TO BE CLEAR, U CANT GET UR TIME BACK. R U ANGRY YET?

    ReplyDelete
  135. DO U UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF WASTING SOMEONES TIME?

    ReplyDelete
  136. also want to kno what else is good? dragon fruit is not bad either but it takes 5 years to grow. u want to get a good variety

    ReplyDelete
  137. "YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT THE TOFU?"

    "calm down its just tofu. its not even that great. i mean its pretty good but i would not consider it ..."

    "now the white ppl are gonna take our tofu as well."

    after i said they had soy milk at whole foods

    ReplyDelete
  138. no just kidding he likes white ppl. he says he wishes he had a white girlfriend. do u kno any american girls?

    ReplyDelete
  139. also, do u kno anyone 3 years younger than u, female, who is looking for a boyfriend?

    ReplyDelete
  140. let me guess, u didnt get a tree did u?

    theyre doing it on purpose and we all kno it

    ReplyDelete
  141. whats going on? im not sure

    r u getting a prize?

    FUCK YOU. WHY DIDNT U TELL ME U WERE BREAKING UP WITH ME VIA TEXT MESSAGE LAST FUCKING YEAR. WAY TO GO. U DIDNT TELL ME THAT FOR A YEAR?

    ReplyDelete
  142. i should point out that i was a shoe-in for google anyways. didnt need the extra help

    ReplyDelete
  143. this is probably how its going

    "oh are those ppl bullying u? u must have done something to piss them off"

    ReplyDelete
  144. no not rly its obvious whats going on

    ReplyDelete
  145. speaking of which, an art teacher in our tiny village was recently violently murdered. violently.

    presumably by one of his many enemies/former students

    fingers crossed

    ReplyDelete
  146. does anyone even read this blog?

    ReplyDelete
  147. probably just a coincidence. i should explain. i dont kno,

    ok its not his fault. cactus sales are going terribly. his selling strategy is to use sex to sell cactus. its great. i would probably buy all of them if i could afford it. anyways, apparently cactus sales hav been going terribly since i came along. u kno, cuz now that hes no longer "single" he's less attractive and therefore, ppl r less interested in his cactus

    ReplyDelete
  148. i did offer to buy a 1000 plants from him but he "doesnt want me to pretend to buy his cactus to help him sell stuff"

    ReplyDelete
  149. sigh, dont take it personally. its a lotta pressure. cuz if the cactus dont sell u end up with a bunch stuck there just growing outta shape, u kno what i mean?

    theres that point at which it is most attractive, like flowers and once u miss it, its just a mess

    so u gotta clear ur inventory before u put new ones in. just watch, theyre gonna suddenly decide to get a bunch and ul run out

    ReplyDelete
  150. its actually difficult, well it takes work, u cant just do nothing. to maintain attractiveness.

    thats half of it. most ppl do all sorts of things for beauty. u freeze to look good u kno? also, tanning works as well. last trick is not too much water, u kno to control the way it looks.

    also theres other stuff

    ReplyDelete
  151. i'm sry am i tellin u stuff u already kno?

    ReplyDelete
  152. thats the variety problem u kno? some u can freeze for ages and it still wont look good. others will actually b rly attractive under the right conditions

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  153. of course thats a common trick. take something and make it look like something else. for example for denser growth, make it cold. then it looks like something else but its the same thing. dont b fooled

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  154. also another trick to beware of is the word rare. nothings rare unless it is

    ReplyDelete

 

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